We are blessed with family/friends that have embraced our plans to adopt and have enthusiastically tried to learn what ever they can about the process. Alex and I have talked with them about why we’re adopting from Korea, why children in Korea are adopted outside of their birth country, and the initiative within Korea to encourage domestic adoption. I realize that the internet is full of both useful and harmful information but what I advised interested friends and family to do was to look on the web to find cultural and adoption-related information. I recommended a few blogs that are written by others in the adoption triad as well as some cool cultural links. And then there’s always Google…
Imagine my surprise when J called to talk about what she found when she typed “Korean Adoption” into Google and found an adoption organization that was hyping “Save a Child from Korea!” It might sound like I’m being a little hyper-sensitive but I find two things about this statement offensive. First, and this is a personal opinion, adoption is about providing families for children. This isn’t “save the whales” or “save the dolphins” (not to discount those ideas, I love whales and dolphins). Any prospective a-parent that’s choosing to adopt because they want to “save” children is hopefully weeded out in the initial process since the idea of saving a child implies that the child should somehow be grateful to you for this rescue, among other things.
More offensive than the “save” part is the “from Korea” part. South Korea (it is South Korea that we’re talking about) is a modern, democratic country with a rich cultural heritage. It’s not a perfect country and it’s struggling with social change (have we looked at ourselves lately?). The statement “Save a Child from Korea” implies that children are better off in the U.S. than in Korea which is simply an extension of that attitude that thinks we’re best/fastest/strongest/smartest in all things (ugh). As someone who loves Korea and is relatively knowledgeable about the country and culture, I was offended by the implication that children are adopted from Korea because the country is dangerous or bad for children.
It’s unfortunate that some adoption agencies continue to perpetuate myths and inaccuracies that lead to confusion about adoption. While there are many opinions regarding international adoption, this particular agency’s internet tag isn’t helpful to anyone within the community. I can assure you that had we sat down with our adoption agency and expressed a desire to save children from the evil country of Korea during our intake interview, we would have been politely steered to the door. I hope that’s the case, more often than not, in other agencies too. I did sent this particular agency an email but haven't heard anything back.
Thanks to our friend J who had to deal with my immediate reaction which was WTF!?
Lauren
As a child I lived for a time in Seoul, South Korea. As an adult, I'll return to Seoul with my husband to adopt a child. This is our journey back to Seoul.
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4 comments:
O.MI.GOSH. I just did the same and found it. I'm writing to them to voice my disapproval. Thanks for the heads up on this!!
OK, sent the letter, let's see if I get a response.
Thanks Margie,
There are tons of opinions out there but it was awful to see this from an agency! They're supposed to know better!
Lauren
I am amazed that there is still this attitude of ignorance in our world today. I adore Korea and your post hit home. My husband and I lived there for almost three years and are currently in the process of adopting. I hope I never have to face these comments in person. Thank you for your insightful post. I don't know how many times my husband and I have had the same conversation. Best of luck with your adoption journey.
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